Paraprosdokian Totally Explained

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A paraprosdokian (from Greek "παρα-", meaning "beyond" and "προσδοκία", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it's extremely popular among comedians and satirists.
An especially clever paraprosdokian not only changes the meaning of an early phrase, but also plays on the double meaning of a particular word. Examples:

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Generally speaking, women are.
The car stopped on a dime, which unfortunately was in a pedestrian's pocket.
I'm trying... very trying.
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate." — Henry J. Tillman
"Onward he came, and his feet were shod with his—chilblains." — Aristotle
"I belong to no organized party. I'm a Democrat." — Will Rogers
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." — Groucho Marx
"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana." — Groucho Marx
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." — Groucho Marx
"I want to die like my father, quietly, in his sleep—not screaming and terrified like his passengers." — Bob Monkhouse
"A modest man, who has much to be modest about." — Winston Churchill (of Clement Attlee)
"If you're going through hell, keep going." — Winston Churchill
"I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long." — Mitch Hedberg
"Take my wife — please." — Henny Youngman
"It has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government — except all those other forms that have been tried." — Winston Churchill
"You can always count on Americans to do the right thing — after they've tried everything else." — Winston Churchill
"I like going to the park and watching the children run around, because they don't know I'm using blanks." — Emo Philips
"I decided to go into a draconian diet, cutting alcohol, fat, and sugar. In two weeks, I lost 14 days." — Tim Maia
"I've never seen him so sad, or ever before." — Scruffy in Futurama
"If I could say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker." — Homer Simpson
"We broke up because I caught her lying... under another man." — Doug Benson
"If I'm reading this graph correctly – I'd be very surprised." — Stephen Colbert
"I was expelled from college for cheating. It was very serious, because it was with the dean's wife." — Woody Allen

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